This Week in Lying Tabloids: John Travolta - Naturally, Royale with Cheese (John Travolta) is all over the tabloids this week. The star, accused of groping several masseurs, is now insisting he was just researching his next role as a “bear.”
Osama bin Laden was reportedly in the process of “re-branding” Al-Qaeda at the time of his death. He felt the name no longer caused fear and loathing the way it did circa 2001. Naturally,Unsolicited Drivel had a roving reporter (a goat) positioned on site outside of the world’s worst terrorist’s compound in Abbottabad, and lucky for us, he grabbed a print-out of a chart out the trash! The terrorists all voted and here is how the new names they were considering fared…
First Look at Jessica Simpson’s Baby!!
She just tweeted this pic of new daughter Maxwell from the hospital. Wow. I guess it’s true what the tabloids said about her having been pregnant for like…forever. That kid’s already ready for Toddlers and Tiaras!
U.S. of A. – Gas prices have dipped across this fine nation just in time to fill up the tank to get to those Osama Bought the (pot) Farm anniversary celebrations this week. In many cases, prices have dropped as sharply as FIVE cents. If the average gas tank for those who don’t have to drive a Secret Service mobile (which they drive because they are Secret Service agents, or just because they have a small weenie) is 14 gallons, many Americans are in for an economic surplus of 70 cents! Find out what our readers are doing with their financial windfall!
